Editor’s Note: Actor and author Jay Ellis was interviewed by the TCC Connection’s Semhar Asfaha prior to his visit to Tulsa to promote his book, “Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just Me)?”
Growing up as an only child with parents who worked long hours, Jay Ellis learned early on he needed to find ways to entertain himself. With his father in the Air Force and his mother working full-time, Ellis often found solace in creating imaginary friends.
For Ellis, his imaginary friend became a coping mechanism for the constant moves and the challenges of forming new friendships. He viewed this imaginary companion as an older brother figure, providing a sense of stability and familiarity in an ever-changing environment.
Born in Sumter, S.C., on Dec. 27, 1989, Ellis is best known for his role as Lawrence, boyfriend to Issa Rae’s character in the hit series “Insecure” He became a fan favorite for his breakout performance and role in “The Game.” For a couple of seasons, Ellis played football rookie, Bryce “Blue” Westbrook, and was the love interest of Lauren London’s character, Keira.
As an only child constantly moving due to his father’s Air Force career, Ellis adapted to new environments and schools frequently. This constant change led him to his imaginary friend, Mickey.
“My imaginary friend was really like a big brother who was helping me figure out life and process the world around me,” Ellis says, highlighting the role of Mickey in his life.
Finding Connection and Inspiration in Unexpected Places
The transition from military life to a civilian life occurred when Ellis’s father took a job with American Airlines prompting the family to move to Oklahoma, a state unfamiliar to Ellis.
Ellis recalls, “We didn’t really know anyone at first, and it took a little while for us to settle. I am used to growing up on Air Force bases, so it was a very different experience.”
However, Ellis eventually fell in love with Oklahoma. The local community and the vibrant culture made a lasting impression on him. He was inspired by notable figures from Oklahoma, like actor Bill Hader, who also influenced his creative journey.
“I was inspired by the people and the energy of the city. It had a profound impact on my perspective and creativity.”
Turning Childhood Tales into a Book
Initially, Ellis did not set out to write a book. He began by jotting down stories from his childhood and soon realized he had a collection.
“I didn’t really think of writing a book at first,” Ellis explains. “I just kind of started by writing stories from my childhood and then looked up and realized I had written a bunch of stories.”
His aim was to frame these stories within a realm of imagination and creativity, reflecting on how these qualities are often lost as we grow older.
The Element of Protection in Imagination
Ellis reflects on the significance of imagination during his frequent relocations.
“I think for the reasons our imagination is important, it was moving around a bunch because of my dad’s Air Force career. Having someone to go through that with provided a sense of protection and allowed me to preserve my own imagination and creativity.”
His imaginary friend served as a constant source of comfort and guidance through these transitions.
Imaginary Friends: A Universal Experience?
Ellis believes that imagination is a universal trait. He dives into the emotional connection he had with his imaginary friend and the impact of having imagination as a vital aspect whilst transitioning into adulthood. [JG1]
“I think that imagination was ultimately me in my own voice,” he says. “As I was trying to process the world around me, my imaginary friend became a form of self-talk and subconscious.”
Although his adult brain no longer needs an imaginary friend in the same way, Ellis acknowledges that the voice of self-reflection and creativity remains a part of everyone’s life.
“That voice lives in all of us. We all have that voice of self-talk and subconscious that’s been with us our whole lives, whether we know it or not.”
The demands of adulthood often overshadow our imaginative side, but Ellis feels fortunate to have a career in acting that allows him to stay connected to his creativity. As a parent, he has been observing his own daughter’s interactions with her imaginary friend.
He says, “Watching her have her own imaginary friend reminds me of the importance of nurturing imagination. It’s a continuation of my own experiences.”
Journey of Writing the Book
The idea of writing the book had started during COVID, and Ellis portrays the process of writing his book as a journey through various stages of imagination and reality.[JG2]
“Not really, there’s a bunch of them,” he says when asked about his favorite story. “There are so many stories; that’s why they make up the whole book. Otherwise, I would have just written an essay.”
He sees each story as a vital piece of the larger narrative, depicting a progression from the boundless imagination of childhood to the more nuanced experiences of adolescence.
“All of these stories together make THE STORY, and I think they are all super important.”
Beyond the Book
Ellis acknowledges the challenges of writing, expressing admiration for fellow writers.
“Writing in general is very tough,” he admits. “I admire and respect every writer and author out there because it’s not easy to sit by yourself and come up with stories and words.”
Finding the time and battling self-doubt were significant obstacles for him. Additionally, he faced challenges with memory and had to consult family members for details.
“I had to ask my parents and my grandparents, cousins, and friends to help fill out some details,” he explains, highlighting the collaborative effort involved in completing his book.
Ellis reflects on the figures who shaped his creative journey, mentioning the profound influence of actors like Denzel Washington, Brad Pitt, and Morgan Freeman, as well as filmmaker Spike Lee. He cites Fight Club as one of his favorite movies and credits TV shows like “Living Single” and “In Living Color” with sparking his curiosity about storytelling in television and film.
Grateful for the inspiration and support he has received from Tulsa, Ellis expresses his deep appreciation for the city and its people, acknowledging that they have played a significant role in his journey, often in ways they may not even realize.
During his recent visit to Tulsa, Ellis made stops at Fulton Street Books and Coffee and connected with more of his audience at Booker T. Washington High School, where he appeared alongside writer and comedian, Crissle West.
To purchase the book, “Did Everybody Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just Me)?” it is available at Fulton Street Books and Coffee, 21 N. Greenwood Ave., https://www.fultonstreet918.com/
